Ladida

[summer_sparrow]

I have read lots of websites, but they are less than helpful. Do/have any of you use/used FAM for birth control? I can't do hormonal stuff anymore. It's unpleasant and uncomfortable and I hate the person it turns me into. STDs are not an issue and condoms are extremely uncomfortable for me, so I'm looking for alternatives.

Thanks you guys!

Now I scurry back to work (from whence I am not actually supposed to be posting to "blogs" but oh well.)

Comments

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

FAM is "the rhythm method" and it's a very good way to get pregnant. It can be a good way not to get pregnant, but you have to commit to using condoms or not having vaginal sex whenever you might be fertile. It takes a while to establish a baseline, which you must ideally do while not having sex, and it's not 100%.

Why are condoms uncomfortable? You might be able to solve this with a better condom.

You could also look into a copper IUD.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

I was looking at the numbers on some of the more objective sites and it seems as though it wouldn't be too bad if used in conjunction with, say, spermicide or something.

Not having sex is easy. That's what I do on the pills. :( I am given to understand that IUDs aren't recommended if you haven't had kids and you plan to eventually... and as for why condoms are uncomfortable-- I'm not sure of the cause of it, but all I can feel is the condom and they sort of wrinkle and it's painful. We use the ones that are the least uncomfortable, but we've played around with this... different brands, different types, with lube and without... of course, the condoms don't bother him. Just me. :( Which in turn is making me resentful because he's been getting plenty for the last few months and I can't even remember the last time I did. And then he gets all sad over it and I feel bad for feeling bad, augh, emotions are stupid.

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

IUDs are fine. Get a copper one and not Mirena, which is plastic and has hormones in it. IUDs are fine for nulliparous women and they don't cause complications if you want to have kids later, you just have to take them out before you start trying. :)

FAM works great for getting pregnant. The problem with using it for not getting pregnant is that your ovulation can easily vary by a few days one way or the other every month based on factors you can't predict and can't control, which reduces your "safe zone" for having sex. And I don't know about you, but I am not that keen on going without for two weeks a month. Also, spermicides don't work particularly well, according to much of what I've read--if they're mild enough not to give your mucus membranes problems, they're mild enough to have a failure rate.

Condoms: use more lube, and your partner needs a slightly smaller condom. :) Also make sure that you're not using textured condoms, which I find rather abrasive.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I thought it was IUDs in general-- that puts a new spin on things.

I'll have to look into that... thanks, Cat. :)

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

No problem. Seriously, though, the condom thing is going to matter sooner or later, so you should get it worked out now. It sounds like right now you have the freedom to play around a little bit with things like lambskin condoms etc (these are a bad idea if you're, well, me) which while not great at STD prevention work fine at preventing pregnancy. Also, experiment with different brands, sizes, textures, lubed and unlubed, add your own lube, etc.

Keep in mind that none of this stuff is standardised across brands. An XL in one brand can be an M in another. Condoms do come in different sizes, it's not just for vanity. I really like Kimonos, they have worked well for me and a lot of people I know. I will have to find out what other brand I've been using lately (I didn't buy them) are called and you can give them a try too. I am unimpressed with Durex, and done with Lifestyles, and I think Trojans are kind of thick, so I can only imagine how they feel to guys.

Shape is important too, as is lubrication. A little inside and a little outside is generally the rule. Apply the inside to the condom, and the outside to yourself.