Ladida

[summer_sparrow]

I have read lots of websites, but they are less than helpful. Do/have any of you use/used FAM for birth control? I can't do hormonal stuff anymore. It's unpleasant and uncomfortable and I hate the person it turns me into. STDs are not an issue and condoms are extremely uncomfortable for me, so I'm looking for alternatives.

Thanks you guys!

Now I scurry back to work (from whence I am not actually supposed to be posting to "blogs" but oh well.)

Comments

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

FAM is "the rhythm method" and it's a very good way to get pregnant. It can be a good way not to get pregnant, but you have to commit to using condoms or not having vaginal sex whenever you might be fertile. It takes a while to establish a baseline, which you must ideally do while not having sex, and it's not 100%.

Why are condoms uncomfortable? You might be able to solve this with a better condom.

You could also look into a copper IUD.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

I was looking at the numbers on some of the more objective sites and it seems as though it wouldn't be too bad if used in conjunction with, say, spermicide or something.

Not having sex is easy. That's what I do on the pills. :( I am given to understand that IUDs aren't recommended if you haven't had kids and you plan to eventually... and as for why condoms are uncomfortable-- I'm not sure of the cause of it, but all I can feel is the condom and they sort of wrinkle and it's painful. We use the ones that are the least uncomfortable, but we've played around with this... different brands, different types, with lube and without... of course, the condoms don't bother him. Just me. :( Which in turn is making me resentful because he's been getting plenty for the last few months and I can't even remember the last time I did. And then he gets all sad over it and I feel bad for feeling bad, augh, emotions are stupid.

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

IUDs are fine. Get a copper one and not Mirena, which is plastic and has hormones in it. IUDs are fine for nulliparous women and they don't cause complications if you want to have kids later, you just have to take them out before you start trying. :)

FAM works great for getting pregnant. The problem with using it for not getting pregnant is that your ovulation can easily vary by a few days one way or the other every month based on factors you can't predict and can't control, which reduces your "safe zone" for having sex. And I don't know about you, but I am not that keen on going without for two weeks a month. Also, spermicides don't work particularly well, according to much of what I've read--if they're mild enough not to give your mucus membranes problems, they're mild enough to have a failure rate.

Condoms: use more lube, and your partner needs a slightly smaller condom. :) Also make sure that you're not using textured condoms, which I find rather abrasive.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I thought it was IUDs in general-- that puts a new spin on things.

I'll have to look into that... thanks, Cat. :)

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

No problem. Seriously, though, the condom thing is going to matter sooner or later, so you should get it worked out now. It sounds like right now you have the freedom to play around a little bit with things like lambskin condoms etc (these are a bad idea if you're, well, me) which while not great at STD prevention work fine at preventing pregnancy. Also, experiment with different brands, sizes, textures, lubed and unlubed, add your own lube, etc.

Keep in mind that none of this stuff is standardised across brands. An XL in one brand can be an M in another. Condoms do come in different sizes, it's not just for vanity. I really like Kimonos, they have worked well for me and a lot of people I know. I will have to find out what other brand I've been using lately (I didn't buy them) are called and you can give them a try too. I am unimpressed with Durex, and done with Lifestyles, and I think Trojans are kind of thick, so I can only imagine how they feel to guys.

Shape is important too, as is lubrication. A little inside and a little outside is generally the rule. Apply the inside to the condom, and the outside to yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

Another alternative is to get an IUD put in, that way you don't have to finnick with either of your suggestions.

[syncopated_time.livejournal.com]

Are you using the lowest dose hormonal birth control possible? I was on ortho tri-cyclen for years and was an utter BEAST because of it. My doctor switched me to Aviane/Alesse (which is the pill with the lowest hormone dose available on the market) and I was better within one cycle. Different methods and doses of hormonal birth control will affect you differently. One pill is not like another and the ring or the patch are not like the pill.

Getting an IUD means finding a doctor that will give you one at your age, not having had kids. Medically, there's nothing contraindicated but old habits die hard for some docs.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

I was on Yaz, but I forgot to take it sometimes if my phone was off (I had the alarm to take it programmed in my phone). It made me grumpy, lethargic, and completely apathetic about sex...

What with the forgetting and all, I thought the patch might work better since I wouldn't have to freak out if we had sex and I forgot the pill-- but the patch is even worse, which is what spurred this in the first place. I just took the last one off-- this past month I haven't slept well, I've been horrible to the boy, to the point of trying to get him to break up with me (that was... definitely not one of my better moments) and not wanting to do anything, least of all sex. :(

I figure I'll just go with condoms for a while-- it'll be nice to just be off of hormones, period, for a little while, and noveldevice gave me a few suggestions for my problems with those, and then make an appointment and see what my gyno says...

Thanks. :)

[cyprith.livejournal.com]

Oh, I hate Yaz. -.- I'm no help with the birth control besides condoms thing, but Yaz killed me. I turned into a raging psycopath. Good to see I'm not the only one. XD

[tricksterquinn.livejournal.com]

I'm going to join everyone else in asking about what kind of hormones you've had trouble with - estrogen and progesterone are both used and affect the body very differently. Many products use a combo of both, but if you talk to your doctor you may be able to figure out if one by itself would work for you.

[missashleyjean.livejournal.com]

I was switched to a lower dose pill because of the hormones reacting strangely to my natural hormones (causing me to have a yeast infection literally every month right before menstruation -- not fun!), but that didn't work, either. Now my doctor has me on the ring. After a few months of adjustment, it seems to be working out alright. Like others have suggested before, it may be that the dosage is off for you.

As for condoms, I have certain brands and even certain types within certain brands that I can and can't use. (Trojan is okay in general, for example, but Trojan's "Her Pleasure" version causes irritation.) Most important to note is this: Size matters! That is, the size of the condom in relation to the size of your partner's...size. ;) So does texture. Ribs and ridges will be more abrasive, of course, if you're more sensitive to that. And, of course, not used with proper lubrication, no matter what it's not going to feel pleasant.

From what you've said, though, it sounds like perhaps the condom's size is wrong and perhaps better lubrication is needed as well...

I'd seek out a good, up-to-date and knowledgeable doctor no matter what. If you voice your concerns, there are PLENTY of options out there, and maybe some that we haven't even mentioned on here yet! :)

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

FAM methods vary. The straight-up rhythm method is basically worthless. The systems where you take your temperature every day are better (my mom used one successfully for years), but really require you to have a regular cycle, which a lot of women, especially younger women, don't. I would NOT use it alone unless you are willing to risk pregnancy, although it's a decent backup.

I have some of the same issues with condoms, although not as badly--the brand we settled on after extensive testing was Skinless Skin. However, condoms really shouldn't wrinkle--it's probable he needs a smaller size. It's also not a bad idea for both comfort and pregnancy-prevention for him to pull out and change condoms if it becomes loose and after orgasm if you keep going. If your condoms have spermicide on them, that may be part of the issue--it can be really irritating and is bad bad bad. I personally violently hate textured condoms (her pleasure, my ass) and use a LOT of lube (glycerin-free, unflavored, and fragrance free--all of those can cause problems). I use Slippery Stuff, but I've known several women who swear by lubes intended for anal sex.

Copper IUDs are fine if you haven't had kids and if you plan to have kids in the future (my mom used one of those, also, and still managed to have me just fine). However, if you have severe menstrual cramps, they can make cramping worse.

If you're okay with inserting things, a cervical cap (like a diaphragm, but more effective, must be custom-fitted) is an option, although it does require a spermicide and there's still some pregnancy risk.

Re: hormonal birth control--there can be other issues besides dosage. When I took Alesse I had yeast infections all the damn time; now I'm taking Mircette and I'm more or less fine. Plus if the issue is estrogen, there's the possibility of progesterone-only pills (although they are less foolproof). I'm leery of the longer-term ones. Your doctor might be able to suggest something else, although I understand not wanting to try again.

[sparrowinsky.livejournal.com]

She's adorable :D I wish I was at a time when I could have kids-- not for a while yet, though.

Thanks for the info... I don't have a lot of sick leave atm so unfortunately seeing my gyno is going to have to wait until my wisdom teeth get yanked out of my head :( but I'm trying to find out everything I can about all of my options.